Stereotypes

When it comes to gender, stereotypes are pretty much unavoidable. In a sense, all that gender consists of is a series of stereotypes that are made to seem real by being repeated time and time again; gender exists as an ideal based around stereotypes which has no exact replica in reality. That’s how I understand gender to operate, at any rate. So, while gender depends upon stereotypes, there’s a general understanding that stereotypes are a negative thing, and I agree with this. No one really wants to be a ‘stereotypical’ man or woman because that position can be stifling or contradictory. I’m quite interested in this idea of stereotypes as a necessary evil of gender theory.

One way that I often see gender stereotypes deployed is to discredit trans people. The argument goes that trans men and women, in transitioning towards an ‘ideal’ of gender by taking hormones and having surgeries, reinforce harmful gender stereotypes. This could to some extent be true. A trans woman having facial feminisation surgery understands that there is a beauty standard for women and in conforming to this reinforces the stereotype which can then be used to marginalise those who do not meet it. But I don’t think it’s fair to aim this attack directly at trans folks. Cis women who wear makeup and dresses are reinforcing the same stereotypes, and so this attack could be applied to anyone who meets any aspect of a gender stereotype. It doesn’t make sense to demonise one marginalised group for doing something and let the dominant group get off without rebuke; that sounds like transphobia, to me. I appreciate that it’s more extreme in the case of trans women, but not that much more. Loads of women get botox, fillers, implants, to get themselves closer to their ideal of feminine beauty. And although I use women in this example, men are not exempt; they go to the gym to appear more masculine, grow facial hair etc. The point is that I don’t think anyone should be punished for striving to meet stereotypes that are ingrained within the fabric of society. It’s how and why they are met which can be praised or criticised.

There’s nothing wrong with stereotypes, per se. It’s how they function that ought to be critiqued. If a stereotype is applied loosely, as more of a framework, then that’s fine in my opinion. But when they are rigid and exclusive they can be damaging. I am critical of gender in a lot of ways, but I still have an understanding of what ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ qualities are, even as I understand them to be imaginary terms. In my head I have a loose idea of what a man is. But because I identify predominantly as a man doesn’t mean I force myself into this framework. At one time I tried to do that, when I was younger and less sure of myself. But I quickly learned that it wasn’t for me. And so I take these qualities of masculinity and apply them to myself when they feel natural: I like having a beard, for example, and I like being independent, a quality most often associated with men (and I don’t mean to say that women don’t possess this quality because I know loads of women that do, but in a traditional, problematic understanding of gender (which might be the only one we universally have), independence tends to signify masculinity). I don’t like football and I’ve never been a stern or confrontational person, and so I let go of those qualities.

That’s why I’ve never understood why criticisms of non-binary gender identities claim that they seek to eradicate gender. I guess it depends on the type of NB identity being referred to. Agender folks might seek to eradicate gender as they don’t identify with it (although I don’t think it’s true that identifying in one way makes you want to eradicate any alternative. Identifying as a man doesn’t mean you want to eradicate women). But my gender identity is aligned more with gender fluidity; I feel gender strongly, from both masculine and feminine ends of the spectrum. If I identify variously with both masculinity and femininity, why would I want to get rid of gender? I can’t follow that reasoning. My mental well-being depends on the existence of extremes of gender. I need those stereotypes to understand myself.

I think what it comes down to is a misunderstanding. I would like to relax notions of gender in the future, but I don’t want to get rid of gender. I don’t want to stop males from being men; I want to allow males to choose not to be men, if they so choose. Nowhere does that involve preventing males from choosing to be men (I find that it tends to be men who most strongly fear that NB identities will threaten their own gender identity). I want everyone to find the gender identity that suits them best. But it seems that gender as we use it – with its dependence on strict stereotypes – is a failing system. Traditional heterosexual, cisgender stereotypes are harmful to many individuals, myself included. But seeing gender as constructed, as non-essential, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. Lots of things are constructed, but it doesn’t mean they don’t have material reality. But what I think it does mean is that if gender is constructed and it isn’t fulfilling our needs as human beings – which I think it straightforwardly isn’t – we should be able to reconstruct it so that it functions better. I don’t think there’s anything particularly radical in wanting to change something that doesn’t functions as best as it could. Ideally gender would cease to exist, but I can’t see that happening, in my lifetime at least. But I think a movement towards relaxing gender stereotypes would be a step in the right direction, and I think it starts with allowing for the coexistence of binary and non-binary gender identities.

WRB