Hello

I thought I would start with a little introduction to myself.

I’m a 22-year-old, gay, queer, male, student originally from Yorkshire but currently completing my undergraduate degree in English Literature in Scotland.

I felt the need to start this blog for a number of reasons. The major catalyst for doing so was reading Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Americanah, and I was inspired by Ifemelu’s blogging as a mode of writing free from the traditional constraints that I’ve become accustomed to in academia; although I enjoy academic writing it can be a bit stifling to condense all of your ideas into the essay form, and I was seeking something which would allow me more creative freedom. I mean ‘creative freedom’ in the sense, not of fiction per se, but more in terms of the requirement that I express myself in a very well-structured, coherent, well-supported argument. I think these things are absolutely necessary, but I sort of found myself trapped within this narrow idea of what successful thought looks like. I suppose this is a way for me to just muse on what’s happening within my head, without feeling the pressure of needing to use the best words in the best order to make the best claim. It’s a way of admitting to myself that there is value and validity in thoughts that come off the top of my head and that I haven’t necessarily articulated into anything greater than just a few strands of thinking that I find of interest. I think all of this is to say: I wanted the freedom to write, to sit down and just say things and not place them in any context beyond themselves.

So, a few goals for this blog. It’s largely up in the air at this point. It’s more of a repository for the process of thinking than anything else. I don’t want to edit myself much, if at all, I just want to sit down and type and see whereabouts I end up. There’s not anything in particular that I want to write about, other than the things that enter my head at any particular time. This seems broad, but being as I am I find myself thinking about certain things more frequently than others: living as a gay man, identity, academia, to name a few. (I same to name a few because my mind has inevitably gone blank of all the things it usually thinks about.) I also want to write responses to the books I read, because I’m so used to thinking about books critically and in relation to canonical debates that I’ve sort of lost my ability to say whether or not I like books, what they mean to me, and why. Being a critic you’re encouraged to write from a stance of rationality and reason, which makes it easy to lose the sense of books as personal items that we respond to emotionally. I’m sure I will not easily shake off the academic training I’ve become accustomed to, but I want to try and create a new voice for myself that isn’t quite so rigid and inflexible.

That’s all there is to it, really. I can’t promise any kind of consistency, guarantee any quality control. All I can really say is that when I have a thought I will try and come here and give it a form that can rid it from me and hopefully stimulate some intellectual response in you. I don’t want to be so presumptuous as to imagine a massive audience here, to suppose that anyone cares what I’ve got to say, but it’s a bit demoralising to suppose I’m speaking to an empty room so for the sake of my sanity and morale I’ll assume that someone gives a fuck.

That’s all there is to it, really. Here goes.

WRB